I just finished watching Narnia: Prince Caspian with my family tonight. I really enjoyed it. I love reading and watching the Narnia series because I love how C.S. Lewis portrays Aslan. Aslan can be so gentle, yet he is certainly not a tame lion. During the movie, I was struck by how much Lucy was in love with Aslan. She was able to see him before any of her siblings could. I think part of the reason for that was because she was looking for him. And the when she met him again for the first time in over a year she said, "I've missed you so much, Aslan." Also at the end of the movie when it was time for her to leave Narnia, Lucy looked back at Aslan with sadness in her eyes. She couldn't bear to leave him. He, in return, gazed back at her with soft, understanding. He knew what she was feeling, and yet he also knew that it was time for her to depart for the time being. Lucy trusted Aslan so much. And that trust enabled her to step through the doorway and leave him behind.

Jesus will never leave us or forsake us. He knows the depths of our hearts and has our best in mind. He loves us so much that He chose to come to earth—to be born in a lowly manger—and die for us. He restrained His power and let men pierce Him with nails and erect Him, naked, on a tree for the world to see. He purposed all this to save us from our sins and His righteous wrath.

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are." (I John 3:1)

"In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (I John 4:10)

So often I forget how much Jesus loves me. I need to be more like Lucy: hating to be parted from Jesus; always wanting to be near Him. Missing Him when I forget to do my devotions. Longing to see Him face to face; longing for His return.

So this Christmas season I encourage you to continue to seek Christ. To long for His return. And to meditate on what He has done for you.

Looking to my perfect Savior.

Christi Joy

Personalized Gift Cards

So I thought of a really cool idea the other day...and I think that this might finally be an idea that has NOT been invented yet. It seems like every time I think of a cool idea, it has already been invented. But this time I think I may have actually come up with an original idea.

Okay. So you know how there are personalized credit cards out there now? The ones where you can have one of your own pictures as the background? Well, I was thinking that there should be such a thing as a personalized gift card. Somehow (whether it be online or at a kiosk) there should be a way to make your own personal gift card. A gift card with a hand chosen picture on the front and maybe even a short message. That way when you give the card to a friend it will seem more like an actual gift instead of just a card with money on it. It will show that you care enough to put some time into their gift instead of just quickly picking out some random, pre-printed card. I don't know how easy it would be to create such a thing....but it sure would be cool.

Oh. And if you know of a place where you can create your own personalized gift card, please let me know.

Love

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

I Corinthians 13:4-7

When I read these verses, I realize how much I fall short. I am not perfect by ANY means (just in case some of you maybe thought i was...I am now publicly declaring that I am not perfect :P). I am so self-centered. I want things to go my way, and I become impatient and irritable when they don't (the exact opposite of love). I don't want to serve others; I want them to serve me. Yet, at the same time, I know that Jesus wants me to be patient. To serve others. To be understanding. I want to do what's right, but sometimes I do the exact opposite. It's like what the apostle Paul wrote in Romans 7:

"I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." (verse 15)

and again,

"For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me." (verses 18-20)

Jesus is continually at work in me. He is continuing to perfect me until His second coming. And although it is an agonizingly slow process, God has a lot to teach me on the way. It reminds me of that one song that goes like this:

"He's still working on me,

To make me what I oughta be.

It took Him just three days to make the moon and stars,

The Sun and the Earth and Jupiter and Mars.

How loving and faithful He must be,

'Cause He's still working on me!"

My love for others will never even be CLOSE to perfect until I reach heaven. But just remember that God's love for us will ALWAYS be perfect. No matter how much we mess up, He will always be there loving us.

Keep your focus on Jesus and He will guide you through each day!

Christi Joy

Retail

Working in retail is a great experience. You get to interact with lots of different people, and sometimes you can even get to know the regulars. :) Today I had this cute old couple come to my checkout lane. The store wasn't very busy then, so I was able to talk to them for quite a while. They were both pretty talkative and the husband kept interrupting his wife to crack jokes...she didn't seem to mind. When the wife had to sign her name on the pin pad, the sun was in her eyes and she mentioned how it would be so much easier to sign if the sun wasn't right there. When her husband heard this, he walked in front of her to block the sun. He asked, "Is that better?" and his wife replied, "Yes, thank you. I knew I brought you along for a good reason." Then the man turned to me and said, "Well, hey. I got a nice razor out of the deal so I'm happy." They went on to tell me about how they didn't really shop that much because their daughter did most of their shopping for them. But today they had a 15% off coupon so they thought they might as well come in. Then the wife said to her husband, "And since I saved all that money today, I'm going to take you out to lunch." The husband then looked at me with a surprised yet pleased look, "I didn't know lunch was included in the deal!" Yes. It was very cute. That's how I hope it will be like with my husband and me someday. Grow old together. Joke together. Go on dates together. And always care for each other. :)

Well, the most crazy day in retail is coming up this week. Black Friday. I start work at 3am. Kohl's opens at 4am. But I get off at 11am (and that's still 8 hours!). I'm sure it will be one of the most interesting days of my life... I might even let you know how it goes. ;) But seriously. Pray that I won't get sick this week, because I feel like I'm coming down with a cold right now..and being sick isn't an option.

God bless you!

Christi Joy

Devotions in Ezekiel

So a couple days ago I read chapters four through eight in the book of Ezekiel. The continuous theme was that God was going to punish the nation of Israel for their idolatry and then they would know that He was God. It says over and over, "Then you will know that I am the LORD." And the reason God was punishing the Israelites was because He was jealous: 

"Thus shall my anger spend itself, and I will vent my fury upon them and satisfy myself. And they shall know that I am the LORD–that I have spoken in my jealousy–when I spend my fury upon them." ~Ezekiel 5:13

God is jealous for his people's affections–as He should be. It is a righteous jealousy. Just like a husband should be jealous for his wife's affections. God also says that the few who survive His punishment will repent:

"then those of you who escape will remember me among the nations where they are carried captive, how I have been broken over their whoring heart that has departed from me and over their eyes that go whoring after their idols. And they will be loathsome in their own sight for the evils that they have committed, for all their abominations. And they shall know that I am the LORD." ~Ezekiel 6:9-10

God also shows how money will not save His people in that day:

"Their silver and gold are not able to deliver them in the day of the wrath of the LORD. They cannot satisfy their hunger or fill their stomachs with it. For it was the stumbling block of their iniquity." ~Ezekiel 7:19

Having a lot of money is not necessarily a good thing. In fact, many times it is the source of a lot of our problems. These chapters in Ezekiel show that God takes our idolatry seriously. It may seem like we are getting away with it for awhile, but his judgment will come. And I, for one, really do not want to face God's judgment...

Paper and Pens

There's something about me and journals that just click. A few days ago as I wandered into Target with my mom I remembered that I had recently finished my last journal. Soon my footsteps could be heard entering the notebook aisle and preceding towards the journals. Just entering aisles that have paper bound together or pens hanging on hooks makes me happy. I don't know why but seeing all those blank pages ready to be conquered with a pen (or pencil) creates a stirring within me. When i arrived at the journals I began to inspect each one carefully. I wanted one with many pages, not wide ruled, didn't want the binding to break, couldn't be too cheesy, etc. After carefully selecting one of the many available journals, I checked the price. $8.48. Hmmm... Is that too much to pay for a journal? Let's ask mi madre. After conversing a while with my mother, I concluded that it was too expensive for a journal and that I should check out the journals at Half Price Books first...

As I walked through the door, the lovely smell of used books greeted my nostrils. I noticed a sign on the door that read "Help Wanted." My mom quickly directed me to the section labeled journals. At first glance we thought only the bottom shelf contained journals. But as we peered closer at the bookshelf, we realized that each shelf held a variety of journals. I stood speachless. The selection here was about twice as big as Target's. I began to pull one journal out after another. $5.98. $4.98. $6.98. Even the big journals weren't that expensive. "I feel like I'm in Heaven," I whispered. One problem with a big selection is that it takes four times as long to make a decision...for me, that is. Finally, after much painful deliberation I chose my journal. I chose a large one with that was spiral bound even though I was against the spiral ones at the beginning. I also bought a lined moleskine for only $4.98! I reasoned that if the spirals bothered me too much, I could always switch over to the moleskine. So far I have not had the need to use the moleskine yet because I am very contented with my large journal.

Subway

Last Sunday after the church service, my little brother Josh inquired if our family could eat out at subway for lunch. The ensuing conversation became quite complicated and ended in a very funny manner.
JOSH: Mom, can we go to subway?
MOM: No, Josh, because it would cost about $40.
JOSH: No it wouldn't. It would only cost $20 dollars 'cause footlongs are only $5 each. And you and I could split one.
MOM: I don't understand.
CHRISTI: Yah. It'd be $20 'cause it would be $15 for Dad, John, and me and then $5 more dollars for you and Josh.
MOM: What?
JOHN: Okay. Dad would get a footlong for $5; Christi would get a footlong for $5 (that equals $10); I would get a footlong for $5 (that equals $15); and then you and Josh would split a footlong for $5, so altogether it would come to $20.
MOM: Oh.... Are you sure that the footlongs are only $5 each?
And right after that question escaped my mother's lips, we drove up beside a bus with this subway advertisement on the side:


All I can say is that our van was filled with laughter for quite some time after that...

So I know some of my friends are blogging about their new experiences with college life. They recount fond memories with their families and friends. Write about how much they miss them and how they wish they were back home. And I also know that I don't have nearly as much change going on in my life right now as they do in theirs...but even though I'm staying home this year it doesn't mean that my life will still be the same. I miss my friends so much. I keep thinking of all the fun times we've had together and now they're gone. Now things will never be the same. I think that in the unconsciousness of my mind I thought that if I just stayed home and tried to keep as much of my life the same as possible it would feel as though nothing has changed. But that is not the case. In fact, I now find myself wishing I was going to college this year. Wishing I could change my life a lot. Wishing my life wasn't close to the same yet so far. Wishing I was busy so I wouldn't have time to miss my friends. It's almost worse just staying home. Yes, the nice thing is that I still have my family close and all the familiarity. But I have all that without my friends. Now I can't just do a sleepover last minute with my girl friends, or go hang out at Applebees after a Sup 'n Stuff. I can't go grab a Chipotle burrito quickly before traveling to the airport. It feels like they all deserted me (although I know that isn't true). At least if I had moved away I could keep imagining that upon my return home everything would switch back to normal..even though normal really doesn't exist anymore. I agree with Gabby and Abraham that sometimes it seems like it would be easier if we could just mold our lives how we want them to turn out. But really, that statement is totally false. If we could design our lives they would turn out a complete mess. God is the only one who knows the future, so He is the only one who is able to perfectly orchestrate my life. At least now if things don't seem to be going right from my perspective, I can rest—knowing God is planning everything out for my good.


And now I leave you with a couple verses that Pastor John emphasized in his sermon today:

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
Philippians 2:3-4

O Lord, You're Beautiful!

Your face is all I seek.
For when your eyes are on this child,
Your grace abounds to me.

God is the greatest artist ever. His creation is magnificent. When I pause to soak in the splendor around me, I feel as though I catch a small glimpse of the mind and character of Christ. He could have made the earth dull and boring...but that wouldn't reflect His nature. God is majestic and exciting. Beautiful and caring. Mysterious and powerful. Every part of His creation reveals one of His many attributes. Everything points to the Creator. We, as humans, also reflect our Maker because we have been fashioned in His image. As Christians, we are to be ambassadors for Christ—proclaiming the Good News to everyone we meet. I fall so short in this area. It's easy to talk about sharing the gospel with others, but when it actually comes down to it, it's not so easy (at least for me). I wish it were not so. I wish I were more bold in sharing the Gospel. At the last Sup 'n Stuff Kempton said, "Whatever tastes the best to you, you will talk about the most. Period." What "tastes" best to me right now? I wish I could wholeheartedly answer, "Jesus!" But it seems as though so many other things compete for my affections...
Father, please make the things of this world grow strangely dim in the light of your glory and grace.

How can I keep from singing your praise?
How can I ever say enough?
How amazing is your love!
How can I keep from shouting your name?
I know I am loved by the King,
And it makes my heart want to sing.

Praying out loud in a large group scares me because I'm afraid of what people will think. I'm afraid my prayer won't be good enough, or that it will sound stupid. Really, though, that is just my pride getting in the way. Besides, I should be praying to God and not worrying what everyone else will think of me. God's opinion should be the only one that matters..but sadly that is not always the case.

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Jesus give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

Worshiping God in the Midst of Tragedy

One night for my devotions I read Job chapter one. In verse one it says that Job was "blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil." I want to be like that. I want people to say that I am blameless and upright, someone who fears God and turns from evil. Also, towards the end of the chapter, servants of Job came to him and one right after the other told him of a tragedy that had just befallen his possessions. The last servant told him that all of his children were just killed in a wind storm. And Job's response? How does a blameless and upright man respond to these tidings? Verses twenty and twenty-one say, "Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped." What?! He worshiped? After everything that had just happened to him? Wow. He goes on to say, "' Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.' In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong." That is the kind of response I want to have when I encounter tragedy. If Job can worship God after all his earthly possessions are destroyed, I should certainly be able to worship God in the midst of my small trials.

Yesterday, as I gazed up into the night sky, a magnificant sight met my eyes. Thousands upon thousands of glittering stars shone down upon me unobstructed by city lights. It was as if God had sprinkled tiny diamonds all across the heavens. Thinking about the universe just blows my mind. Seeing a scale of the earth compared to the other planets and stars makes me realize just how small I really am. I am truely insignificant. Yet, God choose to send his Son to earth for the purpose of cleansing me from my sin. Jesus came to die for me. What wonderous love is this? Truely HE is worthy of my praise!

TRUST. It sounds simple enough, right? I mean, c'mon, it's only five letters long. It can't be that complicated. Wrong! Somehow trust always seems to elude me. It does not come naturally. Instead of trusting God's perfect plan for my life, I continually try to control my own future. But guess what? I'll let you in on a little secret...no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to change my future. Ever. God has already planned it all out for me. Trust isn't easy. It's a scary adventure. But it is an adventure that God has called me on; and one that He will help me through. If I love and abide in Jesus Christ, everything will work together for my good just as He has promised. Right now I just need to focus on Christ and let Him work through me. He knows best...even if I can't always see it. My life is in His hands.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Do you ever have those days where you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs because of school and family stress but you know that if you did, every0one would think you've gone insane? Really, though, you're the only sane person and everyone else around you is going insane. Or so it seems. And have you ever noticed that grumpy moods are contagious? When one member of your family is in a grumpy mood, it seems to permeate the whole house. Pretty soon everyone has lost their patience, and you can almost feel tenseness radiating from each person. This is when our real character is revealed. We can try to put a pretty little mask over all our imperfections, but at some point the mask just seems to explode. Everyone of us is born with a sinful nature. That is why we so desperately need the grace of God. He is the only one who can wash us white as snow by his blood.

"Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow."

Trust

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His word;
Just to rest upon His promise,

And to know, "Thus saith the Lord."

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him;
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er.
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus;
Oh for grace to trust Him more.

As a child I didn't question why things happened. I didn't worry. I just trusted. Trusted in my Heavenly Father. I knew, with my child-like faith, that He would take care of me and everything would turn out all right. Isn't that what he says he'll do? He cares for the birds of the air and the flowers of the field, so how much more must he care about me.

As a teenager, though, I started to question things—wishing my life was different, hoping my future would be better. Perfect, in fact. My trust started to dwindle. I still knew what God had promised, but in my heart I wasn't so sure I believed it. I knew I should believe it, but that didn't make me believe it.

I think this is why God has called us to become like children in order to enter his kingdom. We need to put aside all our adult worries about life and the unknown future, and instead come to Jesus with a simple, childhood trust. We need to rest upon his promises. He will never leave us or forsake us.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the LORD."

Union Gospel Mission

I think that many times its a lot easier for me to give up my money than my time. My life in twenty-first century American culture can get extremely busy at times. Trying to juggle devotions, school, sports, church, and friends isn't always easy. It seems as though some days I never have a quiet moment to just sit down and relax. So to give some more of my time up to help others out is a lot harder than dropping a couple of coins in a jar.
Every Sunday and Wednesday, my youth group supports the homeless men at the Union Gospel Mission (a.k.a. UGM) by passing around a container for the students to drop their extra change in. The theory is that if every high schooler contributes twenty-five cents each, we can keep the program going. So far, it's worked. Once a month, people gather in our church kitchen to help prepare bag lunches—consisting of a meat and cheese sandwich, crackers, and a couple cookies—which we then distribute to the men at the UGM.
Even though I contributed twenty-five cents every once in a while to the UGM, I had never actually spent the time to help make and pass out the lunches. This past Sunday, though, I finally decided to help out. Not because I particularly wanted to (although I was a little curious), but because I needed to do a project for school—one where I had to help others out and then write a paper on my experiences.
I can now stand before you and say that my experience was well worth the effort. When I showed up in the church kitchen at 3:00 that Sunday afternoon, I didn't know anyone my age. Nevertheless, I stayed and helped prepare about 150 bag lunches. Then I traveled with the rest of the group (about fourteen people in all) to the Union Gospel Mission in St. Paul. Once at the mission, we unloaded all the lunches and carted them into the mission's kitchen. Along with the lunches, we had also brought some grapes and bananas. We arranged the lunches and fruit so that when the men came filing in, they could grab a lunch, some fruit, and finally a styrofoam cup to either fill with water or punch. We also laid out some free tracks for anyone to take.
Dinner began at 5:30, so at 4:00 we took about a half an hour to sing a couple songs and listen to a devotional led by Andrew. Then, at 5:30, we again entered the kitchen and handed out the various items we had brought to the men filing through the line. My job was to hand out the styrofoam cups and also let the men know that the tracks in front of me were free.
Towards 6:30 (when dinner ended), we ran out of lunches. So we distributed the rest of the fruit, and then started some conversations with the men still left in the dining room. I was able to talk with three men and also give them a track. At 6:30, we cleaned up and headed back to church.
Driving back home, I realized that I had met some new people, conversed with homeless men about the Bible, and helped feed the needy. God used that experience to grow my faith in Him. He got me out of my comfort zone. Brought me into a situation where all I could do was trust Him. I now feel a burden for those I talked with that night. I pray that God would save their souls. Open their eyes to see how gloriously beautiful Jesus Christ is, and how much they need Him.
I encourage anyone who hasn't experienced something like this to get outside your comfort zone. Help those in need. And trust Jesus—He never disappoints.

The Tree

This is a story I wrote for the Christmas season. Although it is not true, I did build off from some true life events.

Time—12:47a.m. I listened intently. All was quiet except for my parents' and brothers' gentle breathing. Good. I wrapped my blanket tightly around me, and tiptoed in my soft, fuzzy socks to the living room. Our fragrant, Balsam-Fir Christmas tree stood erect near the window. Bright, white Christmas lights encircled its branches. I curled up in the lazy-boy chair next to the tree. As I gazed out the window, the cold, pure-white snow glistened in the street lights. Alone in the room with a Christmas tree as company, I thought of the verse, "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10a) Still. As an American, I have very few still moments. Usually I am busy jumping from one thing to the next, and noise continually sounds around me. That's why I treasure times like this. When I'm quietly sitting alone with God...and our Christmas tree. I love Christmas trees. They always remind me that the baby Jesus came to earth for a single purpose: to deliver his people from their sins. He came to die. "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed." (I Peter 2:24) But why is it so important that Jesus Christ die on a tree? It is because in Galatians it says, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written,'Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree'—so that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, so that we might receive the promised Spirit through faith." So this year as I gather with my family around the Christmas tree, I'm going to keep in mind the reason that the Son of God came to earth. Thank Him. And spread the joy inside me this Christmas season.