Paper and Pens

There's something about me and journals that just click. A few days ago as I wandered into Target with my mom I remembered that I had recently finished my last journal. Soon my footsteps could be heard entering the notebook aisle and preceding towards the journals. Just entering aisles that have paper bound together or pens hanging on hooks makes me happy. I don't know why but seeing all those blank pages ready to be conquered with a pen (or pencil) creates a stirring within me. When i arrived at the journals I began to inspect each one carefully. I wanted one with many pages, not wide ruled, didn't want the binding to break, couldn't be too cheesy, etc. After carefully selecting one of the many available journals, I checked the price. $8.48. Hmmm... Is that too much to pay for a journal? Let's ask mi madre. After conversing a while with my mother, I concluded that it was too expensive for a journal and that I should check out the journals at Half Price Books first...

As I walked through the door, the lovely smell of used books greeted my nostrils. I noticed a sign on the door that read "Help Wanted." My mom quickly directed me to the section labeled journals. At first glance we thought only the bottom shelf contained journals. But as we peered closer at the bookshelf, we realized that each shelf held a variety of journals. I stood speachless. The selection here was about twice as big as Target's. I began to pull one journal out after another. $5.98. $4.98. $6.98. Even the big journals weren't that expensive. "I feel like I'm in Heaven," I whispered. One problem with a big selection is that it takes four times as long to make a decision...for me, that is. Finally, after much painful deliberation I chose my journal. I chose a large one with that was spiral bound even though I was against the spiral ones at the beginning. I also bought a lined moleskine for only $4.98! I reasoned that if the spirals bothered me too much, I could always switch over to the moleskine. So far I have not had the need to use the moleskine yet because I am very contented with my large journal.

Subway

Last Sunday after the church service, my little brother Josh inquired if our family could eat out at subway for lunch. The ensuing conversation became quite complicated and ended in a very funny manner.
JOSH: Mom, can we go to subway?
MOM: No, Josh, because it would cost about $40.
JOSH: No it wouldn't. It would only cost $20 dollars 'cause footlongs are only $5 each. And you and I could split one.
MOM: I don't understand.
CHRISTI: Yah. It'd be $20 'cause it would be $15 for Dad, John, and me and then $5 more dollars for you and Josh.
MOM: What?
JOHN: Okay. Dad would get a footlong for $5; Christi would get a footlong for $5 (that equals $10); I would get a footlong for $5 (that equals $15); and then you and Josh would split a footlong for $5, so altogether it would come to $20.
MOM: Oh.... Are you sure that the footlongs are only $5 each?
And right after that question escaped my mother's lips, we drove up beside a bus with this subway advertisement on the side:


All I can say is that our van was filled with laughter for quite some time after that...

So I know some of my friends are blogging about their new experiences with college life. They recount fond memories with their families and friends. Write about how much they miss them and how they wish they were back home. And I also know that I don't have nearly as much change going on in my life right now as they do in theirs...but even though I'm staying home this year it doesn't mean that my life will still be the same. I miss my friends so much. I keep thinking of all the fun times we've had together and now they're gone. Now things will never be the same. I think that in the unconsciousness of my mind I thought that if I just stayed home and tried to keep as much of my life the same as possible it would feel as though nothing has changed. But that is not the case. In fact, I now find myself wishing I was going to college this year. Wishing I could change my life a lot. Wishing my life wasn't close to the same yet so far. Wishing I was busy so I wouldn't have time to miss my friends. It's almost worse just staying home. Yes, the nice thing is that I still have my family close and all the familiarity. But I have all that without my friends. Now I can't just do a sleepover last minute with my girl friends, or go hang out at Applebees after a Sup 'n Stuff. I can't go grab a Chipotle burrito quickly before traveling to the airport. It feels like they all deserted me (although I know that isn't true). At least if I had moved away I could keep imagining that upon my return home everything would switch back to normal..even though normal really doesn't exist anymore. I agree with Gabby and Abraham that sometimes it seems like it would be easier if we could just mold our lives how we want them to turn out. But really, that statement is totally false. If we could design our lives they would turn out a complete mess. God is the only one who knows the future, so He is the only one who is able to perfectly orchestrate my life. At least now if things don't seem to be going right from my perspective, I can rest—knowing God is planning everything out for my good.


And now I leave you with a couple verses that Pastor John emphasized in his sermon today:

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
Philippians 2:3-4

O Lord, You're Beautiful!

Your face is all I seek.
For when your eyes are on this child,
Your grace abounds to me.

God is the greatest artist ever. His creation is magnificent. When I pause to soak in the splendor around me, I feel as though I catch a small glimpse of the mind and character of Christ. He could have made the earth dull and boring...but that wouldn't reflect His nature. God is majestic and exciting. Beautiful and caring. Mysterious and powerful. Every part of His creation reveals one of His many attributes. Everything points to the Creator. We, as humans, also reflect our Maker because we have been fashioned in His image. As Christians, we are to be ambassadors for Christ—proclaiming the Good News to everyone we meet. I fall so short in this area. It's easy to talk about sharing the gospel with others, but when it actually comes down to it, it's not so easy (at least for me). I wish it were not so. I wish I were more bold in sharing the Gospel. At the last Sup 'n Stuff Kempton said, "Whatever tastes the best to you, you will talk about the most. Period." What "tastes" best to me right now? I wish I could wholeheartedly answer, "Jesus!" But it seems as though so many other things compete for my affections...
Father, please make the things of this world grow strangely dim in the light of your glory and grace.

How can I keep from singing your praise?
How can I ever say enough?
How amazing is your love!
How can I keep from shouting your name?
I know I am loved by the King,
And it makes my heart want to sing.

Praying out loud in a large group scares me because I'm afraid of what people will think. I'm afraid my prayer won't be good enough, or that it will sound stupid. Really, though, that is just my pride getting in the way. Besides, I should be praying to God and not worrying what everyone else will think of me. God's opinion should be the only one that matters..but sadly that is not always the case.

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Jesus give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

Worshiping God in the Midst of Tragedy

One night for my devotions I read Job chapter one. In verse one it says that Job was "blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil." I want to be like that. I want people to say that I am blameless and upright, someone who fears God and turns from evil. Also, towards the end of the chapter, servants of Job came to him and one right after the other told him of a tragedy that had just befallen his possessions. The last servant told him that all of his children were just killed in a wind storm. And Job's response? How does a blameless and upright man respond to these tidings? Verses twenty and twenty-one say, "Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped." What?! He worshiped? After everything that had just happened to him? Wow. He goes on to say, "' Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.' In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong." That is the kind of response I want to have when I encounter tragedy. If Job can worship God after all his earthly possessions are destroyed, I should certainly be able to worship God in the midst of my small trials.

Yesterday, as I gazed up into the night sky, a magnificant sight met my eyes. Thousands upon thousands of glittering stars shone down upon me unobstructed by city lights. It was as if God had sprinkled tiny diamonds all across the heavens. Thinking about the universe just blows my mind. Seeing a scale of the earth compared to the other planets and stars makes me realize just how small I really am. I am truely insignificant. Yet, God choose to send his Son to earth for the purpose of cleansing me from my sin. Jesus came to die for me. What wonderous love is this? Truely HE is worthy of my praise!